What I Got For Yule

1. Nerf Dragonlance in bright, fluorescent orange.

2. CD entitled “Tanis Half-Elven’s Show Tune-o-Rama”.

3. “My Little Bozak” with interchangeable costumes (the glittery pink one is the best).

4. Book entitled “Tasslehoff Burrfoot’s Guide to Investing and Finance in the Fifth Age”.

5. Temporary tattoo of Steel Brightblade on a Harley, emblazoned with the logo, “Momma Didn’t Love Me”,
surrounded by flames and aces of spades.

6. Raistlin doll with string on back that, when pulled, enables doll to cough heavily and say, “You are all fools! I’m going to be a god, ah ha ha!” and “Caramon! Open this jar of pickles for me!”

7. Kitiara’s version of “The Rules” (Examples: #4 If he doesn’t call after a date, kill him. #12 If he doesn’t give you a birthday present, kill him. #22 If he’s a dark elf intent on helping your brother rule the universe, kill him.).

8. “Studmuffins of Krynn” pinup calendar.

9. Lyrics and notations for “Elven Metal II: The Grunge Years” with picture of Quivalen Sath in flannel shirt on cover.

10. Berlitz cassettes for the language of magic (“WARNING: Tapes may burst into a fiery ball upon use.”).

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  • Memorable Quotes

    Idiot kender. Running off with a dead old man.

    — Flint Fireforge, Dragons of Winter Night