‘Twas the Night Before Yuletide


Season’s Greetings, everyone! Tavin Springfingers, Krynn’s premiere investigative reporter here- a bit older, a bit more traveled, but still every bit as foolhardy. Now, I know it’s been a while since we talked, but the holidays are about family, and this will always be my family… Even if I’m off in another plane of existence full of floating heads that.. Uhm.. ahem

Sorry. Story for another time.

Look, however you slice it… This has been a heck of a year. And it certainly seems to me that we could all use a little nugget of joy as the year draws to a close. So, I figured I’d share with you a fun little poem. Like this year, it gets a bit dark, but I think you’ll all enjoy it regardless.

Stay safe and stay happy, everyone!

‘Twas the Night Before Yuletide

‘Twas the night before Yuletide
And all through the town
Many Kender were busy
Partying down

Pouches were strewn about
With nary a care
In hopes to delight
One finding them there

The children were busy
Playing hide and go seek
Celia was winning
Hadn’t seen her all week

While I in my topknot
And a cool Fizban hat
Had just settled in
With somebody’s map

When outside the house
There was such a roar
I sprang to my feet
To see what it bore

To the deck I absconded
Whilst making much haste
What new sight might this be
Not a moment to waste!

The milling crowds of Kender
Running to and fro
Gave rise to the chaos
On the pavilion below

And what to my bewilderment
Did appear
But a massive red dragon
And a feeling of fear

With a booming roar
And breathing flames so thick
I knew in a moment
It must be Malystryx

From the sky she dove
At such rapid pace
That just swooping by
Laid Snifferdoo’s house to waste

“Die Pouchsnippers, die Nimblefingers,
Die Burrfoots and Maptakers.
Die Springfingers, and Proudknots,
Steelcatchers and Questfakers!”

“Burn to the ground,
Leave nothing but embers!
Destroy all the families
And all of their members!”

She shot up through the sky
Massive body blotting out the sun
And I mused to myself
Perhaps Yule celebration was done.

And as the sky darkened
Our whole nation in shade
I wasn’t scared
but some were afraid

And then from above
I heard a mighty heave
And rows of houses caught flame
Like piles of dry leaves

As I turned back inside
My whippik in hand
With a ear popping boom
The dragon did land

Her scaly hide armoured
From her head to her foot
And each brimstone breath
Emitted ashes and soot

She coughed and she wheezed
Let out a guttural hack
Then gathered herself
And resumed her attack

Her scales, so crimson
Her eyes, full of malice
Rage washed from her form
As if poured from a chalice

Her claws, they did glisten
As she tore things asunder
I found myself stunned
In awe and in wonder

Massive wings unfurled
Sending people aloft
As they vanished in the smoky mist
Like that potted plant, Soth

Teeth glistened in firelight
Warning of danger
And her whole form shuddered
In rage and in anger

Her great tail thrashed
Reducing buildings to rubble
So destructive that for once
I decided to stay out of trouble

Her burning eyes narrowed
As she twisted her head
In my general direction
Filling me with dread

She spoke not a word
But went straight to her work
Sending bodies flying
Then turned
Like a jerk

Then letting out a grunt
Smoke whisping from her nose
She gave a mighty leap
And into the sky she rose

Her rage sated she flew away
With a cough and a hack
Headed for her mountain
Without once looking back

But I heard her exclaim
As she flew away with a sigh
“You assholes gave me Covid.
I hope you all die!”

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One Comment

  1. Some Random Kender Stranger Guy

    Just wanna say… Lovin’ the Santa hat in that pic!

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  • Memorable Quotes

    Heh, heh, heh, you can’t leave things lying about unguarded, not even on Lunitari.

    — Rapaldo the First, Darkness and Light