Top Ten Things Raistlin Likes To Do On Snowy Winter Days

10. Cast fireball and melt Sturm’s snow fort.

9. Torture Dalamar with cold hands.

8. Make Caramon go looking for rose petals.

7. Make snow mage impressions.

6. Build a snow kender, and cast fireball.

5. Whoosh Tasslehoff into a frozen duck pond.

4. Whoosh Tasslehoff into a frozen duck pond upside-down.

3. Have the ultimate snowball fight with the Queen of Darkness.

2. Sit inside and have a nice hot cup of herbal brew with marshmallows in it.

1. Sing Winter songs like…

Raistlin the Red Robed Wizard

Raistlin the Red Robed wizard
Had a very shiny face.
And if you ever saw him,
You would want to leave the place!

His Test at the Tower
Made him cough and hack up blood
But because of his power.
He now conjures Vick’s Vaporub.

Then during the Chronicles
Fizban came to say
“Raistlin with your robes so Red,
Don’t turn to Black, be my sword instead!”

But now he’s wearing black robes,
And with all the spells he’s hurled,
Raistlin the (Black) Robed wizard,
Will go out and rule the world!

O Tasslehoff

O Tasslehoff! O Tasslehoff!
Why do you so annoy me?
O Tasslehoff! O Tasslehoff!
Why do you so annoy me?
You steal from me!
And cause me dread.
A thousand curses
On your head!!!
O Tasslehoff! O Tasslehoff!
Why do you so annoy me?

I’m Dreaming of a White Cleric

I’m dreaming of a white cleric
Just like someone I used to know
She had long dark hair,
And skin quite fair,
And robes the color of the snow.
I’m dreaming of a white cleric
In every second, I delight.
If you step in Paladine’s light
Then may all your cleric’s robes be white.

A Death Mass Song

Kender roasting on an open fire,
Hell hounds nipping at your gnomes,
Black Robed wizard impaled on a spire,
His death curse sealing off my home.
Everybody knows Takhisis and her minion horde.
Plan to kill Solamnic Knights.
Tiny dwarves stuck with kender who’re bored
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know a mountain’s coming down
To kill a Kingpriest and to make all Istar drown.
A cataclysm is no treat.
Except for kender who think it’s really neat.

And so I’m offering some sound advice,
For elves from 6 to 902.
Don’t kill yourselves: it is not very nice!
There are others to do it for you.

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