General Taunts

• Cross eyed, flee infested, buck toothed, gully dwarf!
• Did your parents ever insult any gods?
• Have you considered using skunk oil to hide that horrible smell?
• I’ve always wondered what a cross-breed between an ogre and a gully dwarf would look like!
• Why do you always make that funny face at me? Oh! That’s how you always look!
• You think you’re the gods’ gift to Krynn? Well, I hope they kept the receipt!
• Your father was a minotaur and your mother’s a ranger!
• Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of eldeberries!
• You’ve got a face only a draconian could love!

Bard Taunts

• Who sang that originally? Let’s keep it that way.

Centaur Taunts

• Which end is the horse?

Death Knight Taunts

• Do you ever need to be relit?
• Where do you stick the batteries?
• You may be able to kill me with a word, but do you ever shut up?

Dragon Taunts

• Here Birdy Birdy! Dwagon wanna Cwacker?

Dwarf Taunts

• Are you male or female? I can’t tell.
• Hide the silverware! It’s a ken- oh my! I’m so sorry Mister Dwarf. I thought you were a kender!
• I see why you stay underground, the fresh air avoids you.
• I’ve seen a more impressive beard on an elf woman!
• Your mother had no whiskers!

Elf Taunts

• (To an elf woman): Hey, I saw a dwarf lady wearing that same thing…but she made it look good.
• I think they’re really interesting! Especially with the long pointy ears. I believe they can flap them and fly up as high as they have their noses.
• (To a Kagonesti): Kender children like to draw pictures on themselves too!
• My ears are pointier!

Goblin Taunts

• Who do you look like most – your father or your mother???

Knight Taunts

• Go soak your head in a bucket. Then some fool might mistake it for a helm and, therefore, mistake you for a knight.

Mariner Taunts

• I’m not surprised you have never had scurvy. What illness would want to have you as a host?

Minotaur Taunts

• Have any of you lost this bell?
• Hey isn’t that Farmers Strobel’s brand on you?
• How was your night in the stables, you ugly spawn of a tavern roast!
• I know a dairy where they need a nice cow like you.
• I know a farrier who could size you right up!
• Moo!
• Wow! That cow just spoke!
• You eat meat? I thought cows were herbivores.
• You have got to be the worst excuse for a horse I ever saw!
• You milk-giving, field-grazing, ugly horn-head!!!
• Your father had no horns!

Ogre Taunts

• I’ve never seen teeth in such a lovely shade of green…

Takhisis Taunts

• How can 5 heads share half a brain?
• Look! A goblin with 5 dragon heads!

Wizard Taunts

• (To a Red Robe): Have you ever been charged by a minotaur?
• How can a Black Robe be evil in a dress?
• Whew! Is that your spell components, or do you make your own soap?
• Who needs a magic portal with those nostrils?!?
• (*bends over*) Worship This Moon!
• You couldn’t turn water into ice in the dead of winter!
• You’re such a bad wizard that you couldn’t even cast fishing rod!!!