Disco Dragon

As you are traveling along you see a bright light in the sky coming towards you, it seems to move slowly and casually. As it nears you start to become blinded by the brightness of the light twinkling off of the somewhat smallish dragon coming towards you. He lands and you must avert your eyes to avoid blindness, as he transforms into human-like form you notice the brightness fades, but not completely, his eyes seem to be silver-faceted and they shine brightly in the sunlight. As you look upon this strange creature you notice he is “dressed” quite uniquely. He has on a pristine white “suit” with baggy pants, wide lapels and a black shirt open down the front. He has many gold chains around his neck and large poofy hair styled straight back (envision John Travolta). He talks with a strange “accent”, as if he is drunk. He offers you a strange meal comprised mostly of mushrooms. All of a sudden you hear wierd music starting to eminate from the “man” and he starts dancing around (insert “Staying Alive” theme here). Make a saving throw vs. Spell or dance around and eat “shrooms” w/the dragon. After 10 rounds the “free love” starts and everyone has a great time. Then as quickly as it started, it ends and the dragon is gone to spread happiness elsewhere.

You have just encountered the Disco Dragon.

Climate/Terrain: Just about any large city
Frequency: Although there is only one, a little too frequently
Organization: Party crowd
Active time: Any
Diet: Shrooms man, lots of shrooms
Intelligence: Surprisingly smart
Treasure: Lots of bright sparkly gems (up to DM)
Alignment: Totally neutral dude
No. Appearing: Just one fine thang
Armor Class: -6 (base)
Movement: He’s got all the right moves cat
Hit Dice: 14 (base)
THACO: 7 (base)
No. Of Attacks: 2 + special
Damage/Attack: Human form (1d2 bitch slap), Dragon form (see below)
Special Attacks: Disco fever baby
Special Defense: Euphoria
Magic Resistance: 50% (base)
Size: Wouldn’t you like to know
Morale: I’m not leaving this joint till the party’s over

Description: The disco dragon is a strange and spectacular sight to behold, in dragon form the belly is a metallic red, it’s back and wings are a god-awful olive green, cornflower blue, and chartreuse yellow in a plaid configuration. Its eyes are the strangest of all being to rotating disco balls (all must save vs/paralyzation or be lulled into constant senseless rambling). In human form, it appears as John Travolta at the height of his disco days, this includes the silver shirt, excessively tight bell-bottom god-awful plaid pants, and ridiculously bright shiny red shoes.

Combat: The disco dragon has two attacks in his human form, his first and foremost favorite is the almighty bitch slap (preferably done to rich uppity women), women must save vs/petrification or stand there looking like an idiot for 20 minutes, men take 1d2 points of damage and go instantly into a berserker rage, punching everyone except the dragon in a 10′ radius like a drunken hillbilly.

His second attack is the most humiliating and disgusting thing anyone could possible endure, he begins by singing Shadow-Dancing by the Bee Gees (even the instruments are heard), his head starts rocking back and forth, his right arm starts pumping up and down in the opposite direction as the head, hips start gyrating in all different directions, and his feet start-a-groovin. Anyone who sees or hears this fiasco must save vs/spell at -7 or start dancing with him, with the same effects as Ottiluke’s Dance.

Breath Weapon: The disco dragon’s most painful attack is it’s most disgusting of them all, anyone caught within the 50’x50’x50′ cloud of the most foul smelling breath must save vs/breath weapon or have an agonizing case of cotton mouth, you essentially become a living cotton-gin, it comes out so fast that your tongue and the roof of your mouth bleed instantly and very painfully.

Habitat/Society: The disco dragon is almost always found in cities with massive over-population problems or in cities where there are a lot of drugs.

Ecology: The disco dragon’s favorite food is shrooms, but it will eat opium, marijuana, and any number of mind altering natural drugs.

Experience: 1,000 to 10,000 (GM’s choice)

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  • Memorable Quotes

    He is my leader and my first loyalty is to my friends.

    — Sturm Brightblade, Dragons of Winter Night